I am not especially patient. If you know me, you can see the scope of this understatement. I want things to happen right now! and am always a little surprised and disappointed when that doesn't happen. I live in the now, and expect things to always be the way they are currently, so for any change to register, it has to be pretty drastic and immediate. These factors are extremely helpful in certain circumstances. I can confront problems head on, I can start big projects that would daunt a more gradual and patient mind. I address things when they happen, so that they can be considered while events are fresh. I don't let small annoyances build up until I blow my top, I manufacture hyperbole around each small thing to make it stop before it grows too unweildly. It's... an approach.
But while I have very clear and open communication with the people I trust, I have very little ability to sit back, relax and trust the processes of life that take substantial time. Which is strange, considering that I grew up in the Pacific NW and gradual is what we do. Some people say passive aggressive, but I'll stick with gradual. We want to see who you are before we trust you, before we are friends with you, before we donate to you. Knowing how this works, I should have more patience with the process.
I am building a theater. I'm not personally pouring the concrete, or farming the walls (though there will be some remodeling), my role is building the supporting base of artists, patrons and other helpful, interested people. Building community. It's difficult, especially for an impatient person like me. Plus, I don't have a lot to show, so it's difficult to maintain enthusiasm in others. And I need some input of enthusiasm to keep my enthusiasm going. So yeah, it has been a frustrating few months as I find a space, and finish school.There is nothing for people to do or support, but I need to not do everything and I can't provide all of the support that this nascent theater requires. If I was going to act/direct/benefit from every show I produce, it would be different- a vanity project that requires no external input. But that's not the case. And it's hard to motivate others when I often just want to sit around and knit, or sleep. Why am I doing this theater building thing then? Because it needs to happen. Tacoma needs quality, accessible theater. It's not about me, except for my role in making it happen. Quality theater needs Tacoma, though and that's the part of the equation I haven't figured out.
So if you are impatient that this is taking a while, or if I haven't contacted you, or if your idea of pacing or vision or whatever doesn't fit what you see (or don't see) happening, maybe give it a bit of thought. I am one person, muddling through something I've never done. I'm in the non-showy part of business/community building. These things take time.
I know that we haven't- produced a show, gotten 501c3 status, opened a theater space. I am working on it. Your disapproval/disappointment is understandable, but it's not helping me. In fact, by draining my energy, you are prolonging the time until you get to enjoy the awesome theater I am busy working up. So please, if you don't want to help, that's fine. Or if you want to help later, once there is a space, that's fine too. But if you can't see the work I'm doing, don't just assume I'm doing nothing. Or if you do, don't be crappy to me about your assumptions without bothering to ask if they are well founded. In return, I will try not to take it personally. This will require some work from all of us. But in the end, I think we'll be better at working together and trusting one another. And that is a good foundation for community and theater.
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