This post is further proof that what you think will stick with you is usually different than what does. I attended the UWT TAC Talks last Thursday. I had to. I had to show my research as part of my capstone class. A student who is not in my program gave a talk on racism on campus. To paraphrase what I remember of her research- something like 91% of white students don't see or experience racism on campus, compared to over 60% of minority students who do. That's a huge discrepancy. Pointing out once again that it's hard to see things you don't experience and change behaviors you aren't aware of. This ties in, in the convolutions of my brain, to my experience this weekend. My show opened, and my audience was white. Around 25 people each night (two nights) and I was feeling proud. I had an audience. They liked the excellent theater we'd created. Happy! But- why was it the same demographic that all the other theaters get? What am I doing wrong?
I strongly believe that theater is not just for rich white people. I have removed the cost barrier of entry. Tickets to this show were free, and future shows will be suggested donation of $10. So now what? How do I make theater that is not just for white people, when white people are the only audience I have showing up?
It's difficult for me to talk about racism. As a white lady, I don't experience racism personally (from the receiving end) and I always wonder if I'm going to put my foot in my mouth, say something offensive, or even just have an offensive attitude. Oh hello, minority person, please educate me in the ways of not being an asshole. Like it's your job to let me other you for my "Learning Experience." But there is discrepancy over the experience of racism. Maybe white people don't understand when they are doing racist shit? How is that possible?
I guess I can relate a little via sexism. Men who catcall me, probably know they are being sexist. (though one time a man did say, "I'm not sexist, I have a wife!" after I told him to fuck off for hollering "nice ass!") Men who just ask me to smile, or stare at my boobs, or talk to my husband when I'm the one buying.... I usually don't bother to say "Look, you sexist POS." It's exhausting. It isn't my job. And it probably won't change anything anyway. So I let it slide, and they think it's cool, that they are fine feminist men.
I want to reach out without condescending. I want to invite people without being all desperate. I want to educate without pandering. People are smart. They are smart enough to fill in the blanks and follow my pared down version of Life in the Theater. I hate shows that assume I'm stupid. Stories aren't some hallowed, rarefied thing only tellable after years of training. Stories shape how we perceive our lives, how we share them with others, who we are.
You do have to start where you're at. I would like to not be an asshole. I think it's a journey that other people can relate to. Maybe I can just make myself explicit, instead of implicit. Hello, everybody. I am Christina, and I'm going to open a theater. Join me in trying not to be an asshole. Now what?
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Building Relationships
I like people. Which is good, because I need other people in order to do theater, an unsolitary task if there ever was one. You could make a convincing case that no task is truly solitary (eg. authors draw on previous authors, ideas, and history even if they write alone in a locked tower) but theater is a special kind of group project. Therefore, I need to work with others, which requires relationship building and maintenance. For a minute, let me digress. Building is easy- meeting people, sharing enthusiasm about a project, getting buy-in in the moment. Relationship building is the best. Relationship maintenance is hard. It requires time, communication and work. It is difficult to understand people who are different, and everyone is different to some degree. The less similar, the greater degree of effort required to communicate. So I try to build on commonality.
Yesterday I went to see Chamber Music in Olympia. I'm not a huge fan of absurdist theater, but many in the cast were my friends and I wanted to watch them and support their work. So that's relationship building done right- supporting the people I care about in a way that matters to them. Yesterday, I also got my first unsubscribe from my mailing list. Someone sent me a letter a few months ago, after the November readings, wanting to help out as an actor. The best thing to do would have been write a quick thank you. But I had nothing for him to help with and I was dismayed at the slow progress of finding a space and tired of slogging through the winter with little progress. So I handed the letter off, knowing it wouldn't get dealt with. I can make excuses, but I missed a chance to build a relationship with someone who was interested in my project. Now he's unsubscribed from my e-mail list, so I may never get to know him. Who knows how that would have worked out.
Relationship maintenance is harder. People say it requires work, but I've found that work is mostly self reflection and exercising patience and responsibility. My efforts always seem greater because I am the one making them. I know how much time and attention I put into a task. Nobody else will experience that task in the same way. I always thought I did more housework than my college roommate. It was an easy assumption- she was stuck in a wheelchair and I was not. I knew I did dishes, moved furniture, cleaned the bathroom. Then one day, she pointed out that her aides swept the floors several times a week. I had never once swept a floor while we lived together. Further, her aides also did dishes, cleaned the bathroom, etc. She cut my self-entitlement down to size and I will always be grateful. Because people always think their efforts are more/better; it's a side effect of having only one perspective to draw from. I try and remember when I am doing housework that I have never had to mow the grass in the four years I've lived with my partner. People fall short of my expectations, myself most of all, because the expectations are unreasonable, not the people.
Yesterday I went to see Chamber Music in Olympia. I'm not a huge fan of absurdist theater, but many in the cast were my friends and I wanted to watch them and support their work. So that's relationship building done right- supporting the people I care about in a way that matters to them. Yesterday, I also got my first unsubscribe from my mailing list. Someone sent me a letter a few months ago, after the November readings, wanting to help out as an actor. The best thing to do would have been write a quick thank you. But I had nothing for him to help with and I was dismayed at the slow progress of finding a space and tired of slogging through the winter with little progress. So I handed the letter off, knowing it wouldn't get dealt with. I can make excuses, but I missed a chance to build a relationship with someone who was interested in my project. Now he's unsubscribed from my e-mail list, so I may never get to know him. Who knows how that would have worked out.
Relationship maintenance is harder. People say it requires work, but I've found that work is mostly self reflection and exercising patience and responsibility. My efforts always seem greater because I am the one making them. I know how much time and attention I put into a task. Nobody else will experience that task in the same way. I always thought I did more housework than my college roommate. It was an easy assumption- she was stuck in a wheelchair and I was not. I knew I did dishes, moved furniture, cleaned the bathroom. Then one day, she pointed out that her aides swept the floors several times a week. I had never once swept a floor while we lived together. Further, her aides also did dishes, cleaned the bathroom, etc. She cut my self-entitlement down to size and I will always be grateful. Because people always think their efforts are more/better; it's a side effect of having only one perspective to draw from. I try and remember when I am doing housework that I have never had to mow the grass in the four years I've lived with my partner. People fall short of my expectations, myself most of all, because the expectations are unreasonable, not the people.
Bravery
My idea of bravery is doing something you are afraid of. Or tackling an insurmountable task, bit by bit. So many every day tasks are brave- raising children, writing a novel, going on stage. The level of bravery drops as you get used to the challenge, but you don't stop being brave until you stop doing. It's so easy to doubt that what you are doing will make any difference, or have a lasting impact. That you'll screw it all up before you get anywhere. Sadly, fear is normal and can only be faced or ignored. So. My theater may go nowhere. We may fizzle out, under-perform, sell out, change our character, or never take off in the first place. I forget things, I don't know much about computers, I get distracted, I don't always follow through. I worry that my faults will sink this venture more than I trust my virtues to carry it through. It is easier to rail on myself for imperfections than build strength. Easier by far to say why are you so stupid and lazy and thereby excuse the lack of gym time than to just do the damn push-ups. I knew at the outset that this would take a long time. That coalition building is not fast. That I would have to fight my nature and remain positive. It should feel brave; it feels impossible.
So, what are some celebration worthy goals? Milestones at which I can say- I have accomplished something, I am progressing? 1. Opening Night 2. Turning in my final project draft 3. Graduation 4. 501c3 5. Landing a theater space- signing a lease 6. 10k fundraising campaign
As I complete goals, more will crop up. I will never complete everything I want. That doesn't equal failure. Maybe acknowledging my fear of failure without being overwhelmed by it is an acceptable meaning of bravery.
So, what are some celebration worthy goals? Milestones at which I can say- I have accomplished something, I am progressing? 1. Opening Night 2. Turning in my final project draft 3. Graduation 4. 501c3 5. Landing a theater space- signing a lease 6. 10k fundraising campaign
As I complete goals, more will crop up. I will never complete everything I want. That doesn't equal failure. Maybe acknowledging my fear of failure without being overwhelmed by it is an acceptable meaning of bravery.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Postering the Town!
Today, I did something I've always been afraid of- I put up posters of my play in local businesses. I learned several valuable lessons.
1. It's not that difficult.
No, really. You can build it up in your mind as this great big deal, but in the end it's just a poster, not some potential audience member's only chance to hear about your show. Bring tape.
2. Rejection- it's not you.
If a business can't or won't put your poster in their window, it's probably a policy, not you specifically. And they said no, so what? That's another poster to put someplace else.
3. People are very nice.
People were overall very happy to take and post my advertisement. Many promised to see the show, announce it at future gatherings, or tell their friends. I was surprised at how chatty everyone is at 11am on a Wednesday- shopkeepers, baristas, bartenders- everyone wanted to ask about the show, talk about life and just generally be nice.
4. If you need moral support, it's okay to drag a friend along.
My best friend came down from Seattle, and we had a blast. I had nothing close to a planned out route, we sort of wandered into businesses that already had posters, ones where I'd shopped before, or coffee shops. Coffee shops are always good.
Maybe everything hard can actually be easy if you have the right attitude and an easy sell. I have some follow up emails to write. Because people wanted to talk more! It was pretty great. I should wander around on sunny days with posters to awesome free events more often. $30 worth of posters, and two people were entertained for hours! Next time I recruit volunteers to help me poster, I'm just going to show them this post. See, it's fun. No, really.
1. It's not that difficult.
No, really. You can build it up in your mind as this great big deal, but in the end it's just a poster, not some potential audience member's only chance to hear about your show. Bring tape.
2. Rejection- it's not you.
If a business can't or won't put your poster in their window, it's probably a policy, not you specifically. And they said no, so what? That's another poster to put someplace else.
3. People are very nice.
People were overall very happy to take and post my advertisement. Many promised to see the show, announce it at future gatherings, or tell their friends. I was surprised at how chatty everyone is at 11am on a Wednesday- shopkeepers, baristas, bartenders- everyone wanted to ask about the show, talk about life and just generally be nice.
4. If you need moral support, it's okay to drag a friend along.
My best friend came down from Seattle, and we had a blast. I had nothing close to a planned out route, we sort of wandered into businesses that already had posters, ones where I'd shopped before, or coffee shops. Coffee shops are always good.
Maybe everything hard can actually be easy if you have the right attitude and an easy sell. I have some follow up emails to write. Because people wanted to talk more! It was pretty great. I should wander around on sunny days with posters to awesome free events more often. $30 worth of posters, and two people were entertained for hours! Next time I recruit volunteers to help me poster, I'm just going to show them this post. See, it's fun. No, really.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Treading Water
I am excited about a space we might have soon. I can't talk about it, I can't plan things with it in mind, it holds me back from finding another space. I was supposed to receive word last week. I was out of town and I've been calling since I got home- only once a day. So, I'm nudging the edges of what it would be like if I got this space- 2,500 sq feet in a shared building in downtown Tacoma. First, I would share the space further. I don't need it during the day, so it would be great for a yoga or dance instructor- dressing rooms! Sound system! WCTNW will only have 4-5 shows a year, so that's plenty of evening time to rent out. A friend from college produces touring fringe artists; it would be great to have them come to town a few times a year. There are a whole bunch of theater students in Tacoma (PLU, UPS, SOTA, Lincoln, etc.) and a ton of theater people without an affordable venue. I think we could fill the space with performing arts.
The timeline would be perfect too- the owner has some upgrades to make (sprinkler system, ADA ramp, first floor restrooms) during which we could be inside the building adding a light grid, installing a stage, walling off storage, etc. Then we would start our Spaceworks residency in August/September. So I'm thinking (awesome idea courtesy Grant) that a giant art filled month of September would be a great way to pull tons of people into the space- see what we and our building mates are all about. Have shows, cabaret, improv, music acts... whatever. I could probably convince a local brewery to sell beer (or offer discounts to people with tickets). But I can't convince anyone of anything until I actually have the space. So frustrating. I don't like to sit and wait. Especially when time is just ticking by and stuff isn't getting done.
I have a show in May, so that probably can't happen in the new space, which is sad. But even if it happens at another place, it would be nice to hand out flyers for the grand opening at the new space. If it becomes the new space. Wait...wait....wait..PANIC!!!! I do enough procrastination based panic to myself, thanks, I don't need everyone else chiming in.
Over the summer I would have to- create a board, file my 501c3 (I know, I know, I've been working on it for months. Simmer down, I've almost finished grad school and I expect magic unicorns to grant me more hours in my day) and raise $10,000. That's a years worth of rent if we split (6 months if we don't), plus a bit of money to buy equipment and make the space a theater. I would... panic a bit less. Anyhow, I think that's do-able. And then- September Space Shindig at the new building full of Spaceworks projects! Hah! Outer space party! Costume prizes!
So you see, with all of the fun ideas running around in my head, it is difficult to wait. Fortunately, I have some papers to write for school. That should keep me from clawing my eyeballs out.
The timeline would be perfect too- the owner has some upgrades to make (sprinkler system, ADA ramp, first floor restrooms) during which we could be inside the building adding a light grid, installing a stage, walling off storage, etc. Then we would start our Spaceworks residency in August/September. So I'm thinking (awesome idea courtesy Grant) that a giant art filled month of September would be a great way to pull tons of people into the space- see what we and our building mates are all about. Have shows, cabaret, improv, music acts... whatever. I could probably convince a local brewery to sell beer (or offer discounts to people with tickets). But I can't convince anyone of anything until I actually have the space. So frustrating. I don't like to sit and wait. Especially when time is just ticking by and stuff isn't getting done.
I have a show in May, so that probably can't happen in the new space, which is sad. But even if it happens at another place, it would be nice to hand out flyers for the grand opening at the new space. If it becomes the new space. Wait...wait....wait..PANIC!!!! I do enough procrastination based panic to myself, thanks, I don't need everyone else chiming in.
Over the summer I would have to- create a board, file my 501c3 (I know, I know, I've been working on it for months. Simmer down, I've almost finished grad school and I expect magic unicorns to grant me more hours in my day) and raise $10,000. That's a years worth of rent if we split (6 months if we don't), plus a bit of money to buy equipment and make the space a theater. I would... panic a bit less. Anyhow, I think that's do-able. And then- September Space Shindig at the new building full of Spaceworks projects! Hah! Outer space party! Costume prizes!
So you see, with all of the fun ideas running around in my head, it is difficult to wait. Fortunately, I have some papers to write for school. That should keep me from clawing my eyeballs out.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
WCTNW Abstract
An abstract introduces a reader to the key components of the paper they are about to read. It gives them a sense of the ensuing scholarship and whether it is worthwhile to read further. So I'm going to to work it out live- on the blog, going through each step until I have something worth sharing. Process post! Yay!
1. What is the question of my research and how does it fit into the conversation(s) in my field.
Theater- what is it good for? Theater is a tool in many fields of research and practice. Framework for re-examining communal problems,
2. Gap in the literature- more of a gap in availability. Affordable theater is a percentage of income. I make an average of $30k/year. That is around $83/day. My rent costs me $17/day, my utilities $3, my car $7, my phone and internet $3. A grocery budget of $300/month gives me $10 a day of food expenses that I pay out to Costco and Safeway. All told, this leaves me with $43/day to spend on non-survival items such as clothing, animal care, gas, yarn, healthcare, taxes and everything I haven't bothered to track. So in reality, I have more like $20/day that I should probably be putting into savings. Theater tickets at Tacoma Little Theater are $12-25. Tickets at BCPA vary wildly- $10-$15 for a childrens show up to hundreds of dollars for a broadway musical or popular band. Tacoma Musical Playhouse seats adult for $29/person. Lakewood Playhouse- $25/adult. Dukesbay- $30/ticket.
Of these ticket prices, only TLT offers ticket prices consistently inside my daily budget (the musicals are the $25 ticket- rights for musicals can be hundreds of dollars per performance).
Some people would argue that theater is a treat, that it shouldn't be a daily allowance item, like food and rent. That if my entertainment budget was $200/month ($7/day), I could see 7-8 shows at Lakewood or TMP. That's a lot of theater. So the question becomes, do we want theater to be a luxury or a daily choice? With the different ways that people categorize their entertainment expenses and what they are willing to spend those funds on, affordability is a shifting idea. For the sake of ease, let's just place it withing the daily budget- under $20/day.
Now we consider the theater experience as a whole, with parking, dinner, drinks, and babysitting. I can take the bus ($2), eat fast food ($5) and not have kids ($). That still leaves me only $13 to spend on the actual ticket. What about folks who pay the neighbor kid a decent wage ($25), drive because they are too far away to bus ($10) and want a pre-show cocktail ($8) and meal ($15)? $58, over 1/4 the $200 monthly entertainment allotment, not including a ticket. For two people living on 30k/year, ($58 x 2) + (25 x 2) one show uses more than half of the month's $200 entertainment budget at $133. It had better be a damn good show.
I want to make theater that I consider affordable. Most people in Tacoma make less than I do. If I can't afford to see theater, there is a good chance that they can't either.
There is other stuff, but that's another post. I am really getting sidelined from the original intent which was create an abstract. Hmmm.....
Tacoma has less theater per capita than the neighboring cities of Seattle and Olympia. Tacoma is a young, urban environment with limited disposable income compared to the software developers in Seattle and the government workers in Olympia. Of the community theater produced in Tacoma, only a small percent of scripts were written after 1970 or cost under $25 per adult ticket. There is a disparity between the audience that exists in Tacoma and the theater that is created to serve that audience. Working Class Theater NW produces modern, affordable theater that speaks to the issues of Tacoma's modern working class citizens. Theater requires risk, but that risk should be artistic, not financial. WCTNW creates a safe space for artists and audiences in Tacoma to explore communal problems through the ancient art of live storytelling.
1. What is the question of my research and how does it fit into the conversation(s) in my field.
Theater- what is it good for? Theater is a tool in many fields of research and practice. Framework for re-examining communal problems,
2. Gap in the literature- more of a gap in availability. Affordable theater is a percentage of income. I make an average of $30k/year. That is around $83/day. My rent costs me $17/day, my utilities $3, my car $7, my phone and internet $3. A grocery budget of $300/month gives me $10 a day of food expenses that I pay out to Costco and Safeway. All told, this leaves me with $43/day to spend on non-survival items such as clothing, animal care, gas, yarn, healthcare, taxes and everything I haven't bothered to track. So in reality, I have more like $20/day that I should probably be putting into savings. Theater tickets at Tacoma Little Theater are $12-25. Tickets at BCPA vary wildly- $10-$15 for a childrens show up to hundreds of dollars for a broadway musical or popular band. Tacoma Musical Playhouse seats adult for $29/person. Lakewood Playhouse- $25/adult. Dukesbay- $30/ticket.
Of these ticket prices, only TLT offers ticket prices consistently inside my daily budget (the musicals are the $25 ticket- rights for musicals can be hundreds of dollars per performance).
Some people would argue that theater is a treat, that it shouldn't be a daily allowance item, like food and rent. That if my entertainment budget was $200/month ($7/day), I could see 7-8 shows at Lakewood or TMP. That's a lot of theater. So the question becomes, do we want theater to be a luxury or a daily choice? With the different ways that people categorize their entertainment expenses and what they are willing to spend those funds on, affordability is a shifting idea. For the sake of ease, let's just place it withing the daily budget- under $20/day.
Now we consider the theater experience as a whole, with parking, dinner, drinks, and babysitting. I can take the bus ($2), eat fast food ($5) and not have kids ($). That still leaves me only $13 to spend on the actual ticket. What about folks who pay the neighbor kid a decent wage ($25), drive because they are too far away to bus ($10) and want a pre-show cocktail ($8) and meal ($15)? $58, over 1/4 the $200 monthly entertainment allotment, not including a ticket. For two people living on 30k/year, ($58 x 2) + (25 x 2) one show uses more than half of the month's $200 entertainment budget at $133. It had better be a damn good show.
I want to make theater that I consider affordable. Most people in Tacoma make less than I do. If I can't afford to see theater, there is a good chance that they can't either.
There is other stuff, but that's another post. I am really getting sidelined from the original intent which was create an abstract. Hmmm.....
Tacoma has less theater per capita than the neighboring cities of Seattle and Olympia. Tacoma is a young, urban environment with limited disposable income compared to the software developers in Seattle and the government workers in Olympia. Of the community theater produced in Tacoma, only a small percent of scripts were written after 1970 or cost under $25 per adult ticket. There is a disparity between the audience that exists in Tacoma and the theater that is created to serve that audience. Working Class Theater NW produces modern, affordable theater that speaks to the issues of Tacoma's modern working class citizens. Theater requires risk, but that risk should be artistic, not financial. WCTNW creates a safe space for artists and audiences in Tacoma to explore communal problems through the ancient art of live storytelling.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Until you ask...
One of the most frustrating things I do to myself is start projects and not finish them. Or start too many projects at one time- more than I can cope with. It's usually a sign that I am stressed and want to change things. I try to put limits on myself- must toss projects that don't fit, or haven't been touched in a year. I try to use it as a signpost- I am unusually stressed, seeing as how I've cast on 4 hats today. Maybe I should make some tea and take a bath. But what I don't do often enough, is recognize the positive aspects of my coping mechanisms.
I am a starter. Finishing things can be a grueling exercise in motivation and self-control. But starting things, I am awesome at starting things. Which means that when I need help, I just ask. When I want to change things, clean things, toss things out, I just do it. No hoarding things for an uncertain future project. No whining about magic elves not living in my dishwasher. I just start to do things and if the task is short enough, it gets done or shifts to the next step without too much effort.
I don't worry much what people will think of me. Like everybody else, I take effort to get to know. If you're not interested in putting that sort of effort into getting to know me, well then, your consequence is that you don't get to know all the awesome benefits of being my friend. If that doesn't matter to you, why do I care about your opinion of me? Who am I to force you to change your mind? So I just go about being me, mistakes and all, and sometimes it works and I follow through and lots of times it doesn't work. But I have other projects to fall back on if this hat is not working out in this yarn. I have options. As much as I'd like to do things differently, I have to recognize my strengths and weaknesses in order to find ways of working with what I've got.
I'm very worried about having enough money to pay the rent. That's going to be the single biggest expense of running a theater space and I am very scared of that magnitude of financial risk and responsibility. So I have started to ask around, find people who might want to share the space with me. I can't use it every 24/7. My theater company itself, starting with 4 shows/ year is only going to need a full theater space from 6-11pm, Thursday-Saturday (plus 11-4 Sundays) three weeks a month or four months a year. That's a lot of dead time. And I had everything up and running, I would teach workshops, produce more shows, and fill the space with so much theater your head would spin. Instead, I can share the space with so much awesomeness. So I've started talking, and asking for help, and offering a space I don't have yet. Because it is better to start things I might not finish than to worry about things I haven't even started and let that worry immobilize me.
I am a starter. Finishing things can be a grueling exercise in motivation and self-control. But starting things, I am awesome at starting things. Which means that when I need help, I just ask. When I want to change things, clean things, toss things out, I just do it. No hoarding things for an uncertain future project. No whining about magic elves not living in my dishwasher. I just start to do things and if the task is short enough, it gets done or shifts to the next step without too much effort.
I don't worry much what people will think of me. Like everybody else, I take effort to get to know. If you're not interested in putting that sort of effort into getting to know me, well then, your consequence is that you don't get to know all the awesome benefits of being my friend. If that doesn't matter to you, why do I care about your opinion of me? Who am I to force you to change your mind? So I just go about being me, mistakes and all, and sometimes it works and I follow through and lots of times it doesn't work. But I have other projects to fall back on if this hat is not working out in this yarn. I have options. As much as I'd like to do things differently, I have to recognize my strengths and weaknesses in order to find ways of working with what I've got.
I'm very worried about having enough money to pay the rent. That's going to be the single biggest expense of running a theater space and I am very scared of that magnitude of financial risk and responsibility. So I have started to ask around, find people who might want to share the space with me. I can't use it every 24/7. My theater company itself, starting with 4 shows/ year is only going to need a full theater space from 6-11pm, Thursday-Saturday (plus 11-4 Sundays) three weeks a month or four months a year. That's a lot of dead time. And I had everything up and running, I would teach workshops, produce more shows, and fill the space with so much theater your head would spin. Instead, I can share the space with so much awesomeness. So I've started talking, and asking for help, and offering a space I don't have yet. Because it is better to start things I might not finish than to worry about things I haven't even started and let that worry immobilize me.
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