Bravery

My idea of bravery is doing something you are afraid of. Or tackling an insurmountable task, bit by bit. So many every day tasks are brave- raising children, writing a novel, going on stage. The level of bravery drops as you get used to the challenge, but you don't stop being brave until you stop doing. It's so easy to doubt that what you are doing will make any difference, or have a lasting impact. That you'll screw it all up before you get anywhere. Sadly, fear is normal and can only be faced or ignored. So. My theater may go nowhere. We may fizzle out, under-perform, sell out, change our character, or never take off in the first place. I forget things, I don't know much about computers, I get distracted, I don't always follow through. I worry that my faults will sink this venture more than I trust my virtues to carry it through. It is easier to rail on myself for imperfections than build strength. Easier by far to say why are you so stupid and lazy and thereby excuse the lack of gym time than to just do the damn push-ups. I knew at the outset that this would take a long time. That coalition building is not fast. That I would have to fight my nature and remain positive. It should feel brave; it feels impossible.

So, what are some celebration worthy goals? Milestones at which I can say- I have accomplished something, I am progressing? 1. Opening Night 2. Turning in my final project draft 3. Graduation 4. 501c3 5. Landing a theater space- signing a lease 6. 10k fundraising campaign

As I complete goals, more will crop up. I will never complete everything I want. That doesn't equal failure. Maybe acknowledging my fear of failure without being overwhelmed by it is an acceptable meaning of bravery.