Standing in my way

Earlier this morning, everything was going great. I had a plan, I was making inroads, I had a performance space lined up for the 4 days in May I will need it. And then, well, then things devolved. By noon, my papers needed major revision and more research, my space was up in the air again and saddled with confusion and I was just tired of dealing with any of it. I need to graduate in June. In order to do so, I need to complete my graduate project- producing a small run of the show A Life in the Theatre. In order to put on a show, I need a place to perform. UWT can't loan me a space unless I pay $45/hour for security. Which is bonkers. So I asked Heather at Spaceworks, who seemed willing to help me snag a temporary space. But when I asked for more info (do I need to pay for utilities? can I have the space a few days early for tech?) she seemed to think I wanted to start my six month Spaceworks residency in May. Which is not the case. I won't be ready. I don't know how much more I can tilt at this windmill before I just schedule the stupid play in a park.
I promised my friend Bunny a non-whiny blog post today. I've already fallen down on that count. So let's just segue into the topic I planned to write about this morning, when everything was sunny and all the problems had been settled. Pride. Well actually- being to hard on yourself. But holding yourself to an impossibly high standard such that you accomplish a lot but it is never enough? That's pride, through and through. I want to think that with a bit of effort, I can do anything! And everything. Which is silly. I am in theater, where everything is a group process. I know better than to believe I can do everything by myself. I do have a lot to accomplish- between now and graduation, between now and opening night (May or September). But there is also a ton that I don't actually need to do. That doesn't have to be perfect. That I can delegate. That I can ask for help with. I don't want to do everything myself. So I will start making a list of things I can use help with, and start asking everyone I talk to if they know anyone who'd like to serve on my board. It doesn't have to be a burden and a time suck and a major favor. It can be an adventure, a chance to improve local access to theater (vital!) and uncover stories that aren't told as often or as well as we think they should be. It can be fun, not drudgery. So, help me make Working Class Theater NW fun.